College... college... what else can I say. It is just... college. Paying tons of money to have people stand in front of you and teach us things that will never be used in life. College. High school but a million times bigger and the chances of your teachers telling you that you're going to fail are higher. "We're here to help you"... yeah, sure. Help by putting me down, help by giving me that look of "well, she's never going to go anywhere." Yeah, I know that look, you think you're doing an excellent job at hiding it because "dancers are actors too" but hey, guess what.... you aren't perfect...
just don't tell your little primas that.
Imagine that, you're not perfect! Oh gosh! Sorry to burst your pink, sparkly, fluffy, spotlight, leotard wearing bubble... but its time for your reality check. Walking with your "buttock" clenched so it looks tiny, with your shoulders back and down... oh but not too far back... back straight with that slight arch (that supposedly is natural for your back to have), and in perfect turned out first... you think you either look like the graceful prima ballerina that "you are", or you think you look confident. When really added to all that, you accidentally have your nose to the air... you look like a stuck up, snooty, spoiled goose who is trying and failing to lay an egg.
As I said, reality check.
As you can tell, those of you who read this, today was not one of the best days.
I wear my knee brace to my classes so I don't get injured, well because of this I've had two teachers now say I should either get into a lower class or I should switch my major. If the teachers would just let my body get used to ballet (which I haven't done since I was 12!) and jazz... then I could show them, I'm up there with their little primas.
I'm sorry that I grew up in a small town and didn't go to a high dollar dance studio, and I'm sorry that my dance teacher(s) taught different. So I've been trained different... big deal.
Would these teachers rather give me the time of day and have me thank them and mention them by name when I get an award for choreography or would they rather be the snooty primas they are being and have me bash their names?
I'm not here to get seen, I'm here to learn. Stop telling me that I'm not going to make it anywhere, just because I don't get seen doesn't mean I'd make it in the profession.
Have any of them even talked to me to find out why I'm here? Haha, no!
I'm not here to get a job in one of the stage shows, I'm here to learn, to learn so I can teach.
Ugh!
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