Tomorrow

Tomorrow I start into my new classes. I'm a little nervous, but my goal is to stay ahead in this class so that I am confident that I'm doing well.
I was tempted to ask my adviser to push back my start date a week, but then I started to realize that I will be getting my associates degree within the next year... why would I want to push that back further?! Crazy girl.

This last week has been a stressful one. I've been looking for jobs and going to interviews like a crazy person. Scheduling multiple within one day and only have a few minutes in between for drive time.
Gabe and I have also been tense this week because I think we're both realizing the need for more. He constantly wants my attention and I want his, but neither of us can abide by that due to that silly thing called

LIFE.

But hey, just like usual, we'll work it out. (Speaking of Gabe and I, be sure to check out my blog posted last month: http://greatapartandwonderfultogether.blogspot.com/2013/08/365-days-worth-of-roller-coaster.html)
Last night, as my last big hoo-haw of stressless hoo-hawing I went out to the bar with my mom and it was really needed. It was at that time that I realized what it was that I was missing in my life: interaction. The only people I really see or talk to is my parents, Gabe and my best friend, Hannah. I need more than that so that's going to be what I work on: getting out there more and being social. Just because I'm an online student doesn't mean I can't have a life outside of my house. In fact, it means quite the opposite. So we'll see what happens.
I'm excited for my next round of classes, but super nervous at the same time.
One is a Psychology class ("I think therefore I am"), with a title like that, would wouldn't be nervous?! And then the other is a nutrition class. I'm scared for this one because I've grown up in a dancer's world so my view on nutrition is skewed and often times unhealthy. Hopefully I do well in this class and can let go of my 18 years of dance nutrition habits just enough to learn from this class.


Let each day be a new day, everyone. Don't carry things over. I know it is hard, but just because one day is bad, doesn't mean the rest will be. YOU have the power to change it, I promise. 
Have a good week, and enjoy the dreaded Monday.
This little blogger is sick in bed, fighting off the flu (of which I'm refusing to catch by downing Emergen-C and drinking so many liquids I'm surprised tea isn't coming out my eyes and nose), so my Monday will probably include me in bed watching Netflix and working on school work.

I needed this

So, I've been having a really difficult time right now. I've been under a lot of stress with finals and just well... *sigh* everything! So I ended up getting perfect scores on both of my finals which was really helpful in boosting my self esteem and motivation in school, but I still didn't feel like I was really getting anywhere, then today I logged on and saw this. I'm almost done with my first college degree and that's really encouraging to me.
I've been having a hard time because my friends are graduating after this school year and I'm not (I'll probably have my associates finished and be moving on to 2 more years for my bachelors) and that's been tearing me down a bit. It's made me wish that I hadn't gotten injured 3 years ago because then I wouldn't be "behind". I know I'm not "behind", but it sure feels like it. I've been hard on myself for a few weeks about it now and it's been tearing me apart.
That mixed with all the other stress in my life has made me really melancholy and kind of discouraged from everything. I haven't gotten to have fun, laugh and smile in awhile. But seeing an end to this chapter in my life, of working on my associates, is almost done. I can't wait.

Sometimes I dream too big... sometimes... just sometimes.
I get lost in the connection between real and wanted. I lose thoughts and time concentrating on what is just beyond my grasp. But sometimes, just sometimes.
On a day to day basis, I'm a dreamer and a fighter. I know what I want, and I can promise you that I will get it. But sometimes.... just sometimes, my path changes on how I'm going to get there.
I'm independent to a tee but love to have the knowledge that someone is there willing to help. Because sometimes, just sometimes I will need it.
I admit my faults, my fears and my lies but sometimes, just sometimes I wish someone saw through it all and saw that all I am in a girl waiting to have the world know who I am.
I'm a supporting shoulder and an open heart to many, a spoken truth for more and a devious mastermind to few. But sometimes, just sometimes....
I want to be me.
But who am I? With so many faces and so many stereotypes that were thrust upon me.