November 8th, 2010: Here's something for everyone (including me) to think about.

     So here's something for everyone (including me) to think about.Why is it that when people start venting to us, we automatically try to help? We say we know the feeling, or that we emphasize, or even that the person has it easy so then we start talking about our own problems. You know usually if people are just venting and not asking for help, they just want to vent to someone they thought would listen. Usually if they wanted help, they would ask.
     Yet, all of us are more than willing to voice our opinions, thoughts and personal experiences. I know I for one stop trying to talk about what's going on with me because when people try to "help" it just makes me more upset, so I let them talk about their problems and their life, then I just feel worse. Maybe that's why I bottle stuff up so much.
     I know I have my few friends that I talk to about everything, but sometimes even they want to voice their opinion when all I really want is comfort in knowing that someone knows what's going on and knowing that they are there for me. Usually unless I say I want their help/thoughts/opinions, I don't really want them. Usually I just need to vent to someone.
     This got brought up because all this happened to me last night. I could sleep so I text someone (my friends call this person my "last resort"... haha... hopefully this person doesn't read this). But I just wanted someone to vent to because I couldn't sleep, and I thought this person would let me. But no, it was all "I know that feeling", "that's how my life was/is", "this is what's happening in my life, so yours could be worse"... and yadda yadda yadda.
     Now everyone knows, I'd be more than willing to listen to all that, but I try to do exactly that: LISTEN. I try to not voice my opinion unless asked. I rarely say "I know the feeling", because in all honesty usually there is no possible way to know how that person is feeling since every one has different view points and emotions. Anyway, I'm always more than willing to listen to that person and put my problems/life off to the side for that little while, but when I need it... it seems like a lot of people aren't willing to do the same for me.
     Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places, maybe its just because I don't trust a lot of people, who would be more than willing to listen, enough to let them see/hear/read me break down. Who knows... but here's something for everyone to think about next time they get a message/text/phone call:
     What does this person want? Just for you to listen? For advice? To know they aren't alone in this feeling?
     Maybe, people (including me) should make a habit of thinking before we are so quick to advise, help, or empathize.