August 23rd, 2010: Class day one: check!

So, first off... my alarm FAILED this morning. Thankfully I heard my room mate making her bed and woke up just five minutes off schedule. Phew. So THAT'S why we have room mates. Got it.

Okay, so I left my building at about 7:40ish this morning (class starts at 8:30, but I needed to make sure I knew where I was going). I was texting a few people, just for some encouragment. I look behind me, because I hear talking, and there's a group of about 12 guys... following me. Can you say, flashback to first day of school EVER?! So of course I had to text my mom and Mat to tell them about it, both of them laughed.
I got to the building, walked down the wrong hallway and ended up walking all the way around the building to get to my class that is just up the stairs that I DIDN'T come up. Of course! Thankfully, by this time it was only around 8:10. So, I sat down and started doodling as people showed up (because I was the first student there). While I was sitting there... a guy passed me wearing: a sweater vest, a white shirt, a jacket WITH a pocket protector, and glasses... AND he was carrying a briefcase. No, he was not a professor, he was a student.
The teacher showed up, didn't acknowledge any of us at all, he just walked into the classroom... all of us outside just kinda looked at each other, I laughed a little then someone got the guts to be the first one in the class.
My English teacher's name is Paul. That's what he goes by. We can call him by his last name, but it's long and hard to remember... so it's just Paul. He kinda reminds me of Mr. Grady from Crater (school 2).
I sat in the back, with one seat on both sides. Well, a guy (a cute guy) named Nate, sat next to me. He's a computer science major. I had to borrow paper from him: good ice breaker.
We had to write a small essay on how "adolecents today {1986} have worse grammar than the people before them", talk about an easy writing assignment for me! Once I got done, and wrote down my homework I got to leave.
Well that was like 9:45ish, and my Jazz class didn't start till 11:30. So I went to the building (after calling my mom) and found a place near my class to do my homework. Well, then there was a class in that class so I went down stairs and found the PERFECT Monday and Wednesday study spot. =D
So I did my english homework as I was sitting there. Just reading and high lighting out of my English book (the book is seriously titled "Text Messages").
Then Jazz started, and HEY! There's a cute (straight) guy in my class! WHOO!!! Lol. (too bad I'm not looking to date anyone other than the one who knows who he is).
In this class it was rather obvious I haven't taken Jazz in a few years because that class kicked my butt!
After that I came back to my room, took a shower, made easy mac, opened a soda and now get to relax for the rest of the day.
Phew. Class day one: CHECK!

August 22nd, 2010: First night at the dorms...

Tonight will be my first night staying in my dorm, my room mate is here and we get along pretty well. I got my photo wall up, and it makes me feel better. Had to laugh because my "big brother" is on it more than anyone else.

We had a "floor meeting" tonight and my RA reminds me soooo much of my friend Cory, makes me feel more like home... as odd as that is.

My classes start tomorrow, and I'm scared to death about getting lost. Follow signs? I guess. I have a very very vague idea of where I'm heading, doesn't help though.

I don't really have anything too interesting to say today... got my internet set up, said good bye to my mom and spread my wings for the first time. I'll honestly say, I'm scared to death and there have been a few tears shed. Not going to lie.

So, to be "social" my rommie and I decided to prop our door open, things that need to go on the list of things to buy... door stop, because my bottle of Tide will only last so long.

<... My Photowall.

I'll write more tomorrow, since it'll be my first day of classes... so it'll be more interesting.
For now, I'm going to talk to people online and write letters.

August 21st, 2010: Finished??

Am I finished editing my schedule yet?
Yes, yes... I edited it one last time today... now hopefully I wont have to do it again.
Went and saw "Eat Pray Love" today with my mom and my sister... such a good movie, go see it!
Tomorrow is the last day I get to be with my mom, and I'm already missing her. I'm already crazy home sick and have been for awhile.
I'm in the hotel with my mom right now, just to stay with her for one more night (and I swear, there is an elephant trying to dance staying in the room above us).

Today my mom and I also went to Dance 4 Less to pick up some dance stuff, leave it to UNLV to get me back into pink tights, black leotards and ballet shoes. Ugh. But! I did get a super cute new dance bag. That's the only thing that makes it liveable. I mean, yeah, I wanted to get back into Ballet... but not back into the leotards or pink tights. I'm not the biggest fan of feeling like I'm suffocating in my clothes because everything I'm wearing is just so darn tight. But life as a dancer, I guess I can't complain too much since its the life style I've chosen to follow.

August 19th, 2010: Orientation/Move In/Meet Cortney

So today was my second day "at" UNLV.


Yesterday (I didn't have wireless and the hotel, hence why I didn't post anything), my sister helped my mom and I run around campus to get all the last minute stuff done, and then we went and got my books... my English one, no joke, says "Text Message" on the cover. :D

So now for today:
As I was saying it was my second day "at" UNLV.

Orientation:
So, first off... get on campus and mom and I follow (from far away) this other mom/daughter group... when they catch on to the fact that we're following them, we talk a little. Ends up the daughter is also majoring in dance. How lucky was that?
Then when I was sitting in the "ballroom" with mom, I looked to my left... I swear I was surrounded by guys. Look back at mom with my "I don't know what to do about this look" and all she can say is "some things never change".
When the separation of students and parents was made, I automatically knew that this means "ice breakers"... my least favorite part of anything (especially the circle one where you try to sit on each others laps... ugh). We did the one where you say your name, an interesting fact about yourself, and make up a dance move... then you have to try to remember every one's who went before you. I was the 6th person, and I couldn't think of a dance move... so I just do the Crip Walk... go figure, no one can do it.
Then we did a VERY small tour of the HUGE campus.
Then had lunch, and I got to know Tasha (Annastasha) and Casey. Both amazingly cool people. (Casey is from Maine!) So talked to them during lunch, and it was hilarious...
Then Casey and I kinda clung to each other 'cause of the whole "out of state student" automatic bond that happened.
Then Casey and I skipped out on the registration part of the "tour" (because her and I registered for classes online), so we became Rebels (haha, funny 'cause that's the UNLV's mascot but I was talking as in "breaking the rules") and we went to go get our Rebel card (student I.D. and literally your life card), my picture turned out rather good.


Move In:
Getting into the dorm is this huge process which is hilarious. You walk in a door, take like 10 steps and sign in, take 5 steps and get a bag, take 3 steps and get a paper to fill out, you take like 12 steps to a chair, fill out the paper, take the previous 12 steps to turn in the paper and then take 20 steps to ANOTHER table, sign another paper then walk down a hallway to the office. In the office you talk to one girl, sign a few more papers then take 10 steps to talk to another girl to get your mailbox key and your room key. UGH!


Meet Cortney:
So finally get to my dorm room, open the door and there are four people inside... one happens to be my new roomie! Yay! Her name is Cortney and she's going to major in Criminal Justice. She is also a runner. She seems really cool so far. She's originally from Cali (I think they said something like Napa? But maybe I'm thinking someone else).


So that was all the new stuff for the day,
how was everyone else's day?

August 18th, 2010: And here it is...

I'm on my way from living in small town, Oregon to living in Las Vegas, Nevada.
I'm scared to death, but excited to start my journey.
There is no turning back now, I'm more than half way there.
Just over 5 hours and I'm in my new town,
a little more than a day until I get into my home away from home (dorm room),
and probably meet my roomie.
I've started this section of my blog just for my college days,
personal things (that have nothing to do with college AT ALL) is still going to be in my other two blogs.
So, here goes nothing:
Vegas or bust.

Just tear me apart... you have my heart anyway.

As I lay down my head to try to fall asleep...
you run across my mind
 Part of me wishes you didn't
 'cause that part of me wants to hate you,
 I can't though.
You captivate me beyond what I tell you.
Your eyes pierce me through and through...
in pictures and in real life.
At the same time...
I want to hate you because you confuse the hell out of me which annoys me to the very extent of my mind.
 I know you know so much about me but at the same time you pretty much know nothing.
To be blunt I feel its all your fault we are how we are now.
I had given it my all and I got tired with trying to please you.

Written Junior Year

Stomach turning, throat closing, head pounding and tears flowing. 
Crap, it's coming back.
This sickness,
the depression...
This stupid disorder.
Affecting me, making me sick.
Can't stop it, can't change it.
It just happens.
Feels horrible but it's reality.
Something I have to deal with when it comes back around.
Don't let anyone help.
Close up in myself.
Don't touch me, don't ask, don't care.
Makes me feel worse, but only way I can think to not let it effect others.
Act happy, though my eyes say differently.
Ha!
Rarely anyone cares enough to read my full expression.
They see smile so 'yay she's happy.'
They don't look to see if my eyes reflect happiness or not.
To see if they are holding back tears or fighting hurt.
Rarely, rarely...
does anyone care enough to notice... 
or have enough time to care or stop being distracted to notice that I'm hurting.
Get distant, rarely talk, no eye contact made.
Avoid it all, society.
Rarely eat, say I'm full.
Wont eat if I'm not forced.
No one will know but me.