Found this in one of my old journals.

This is from a few months back:


                            "{So, though this will sound totally conceited, I swear it is far from.}
      You wanna know what I'm tired of, hearing that I'm easy to fall in love with. No joke. I'm so tired of hearing that guys fall in love with me.
     Only reason I'm tired of this is because its all these guys who think they know me, but really don't. They say I'm adorable, and that they could see themselves with me... this all comes before they even know my last name. I know that's a slight exaggeration but still.
     I know what its like to do not get a chance, but its hard for me to give a guy a chance when after the first time we hang out he text me every day saying he misses me and within three dates he's already "falling for me". Because of my past... I can't believe it. I know that's me being a total hypocrite because I'm one of those silly teens who believes in "love at first sight", but ya know what. I also don't think it happens right when you meet the person. My definition of "love at first sight" is totally different than how the majority of the world sees it.
     I think "love at first sight" is more knowing that there's a connection and that when you do fall in love with the person, you'll know. I still think you have to grow for the love though.
     I understand if I'm easily likeable. I understand if its easy to find me attractive and develop a crush. But I'm so tired of people misusing the word love and throwing it around like its a piece of candy.
     I guess I just need to find that right guy who will miss me, and grow to love me but isn't too clingy. Guess I just need that support and that guy I can go have fun with or have just as much fun by staying at home, sitting on the couch and watching movies. A guy who will let me be me and grow to love me for it."


Thought this post was interesting because it's still so true. Even when I'm finally with the guy I would kill to be with, it's hard for me because I'm used to guys falling head over heels for me and this one isn't. So now I'm curious opposite of this post: if I'm so easily loveable to everyone I don't want, why wont the guy who I want fall for me?



Go figure.