Warning: incredibly sappy update:

Warning: incredibly sappy update:
Okay, so I will finally admit that I've been having a bit of a hard time lately (especially last week). I was expecting this hard time to last a little bit, and I didn't know why. I was upset because things feel like they are at a stand still and I've been getting so easily stressed out. I'm still sad that I don't see my Molly car every day, even though I love my Allie girl. I'm mad that I don't hear from insurance and I'm getting so tired of doctors. I wanted to whine and complain and just be miserable. I was ready to curl up in my bed and just be done.
But after this last week, I can honestly say that I have the most amazing people in my life. My roommate has gone above and beyond with getting us coffee, food and bringing me smoothies to work to keep me going through the day and Monday we went Thrift shopping (what what?) and just had an insane day. Tuesday I got to talk to my dad and it was actually good. We're working on our relationship again, 'cause I miss being daddy's girl and he misses me too. I got to see my "sister" out in Ashland and though it wasn't for very long, I always feel better after talking to her.
Of course there's always my amazing mother who even though I fight with her constantly, I know she is always behind me to support me. She's made me feel better with little notes and coming into my room in the morning to say bye and that she hopes I have a good day. I'm excited to spend tomorrow with her. and then there's Gabe. Lol. I don't need to get sappy over that one. :p He just keeps me smiling and listens to my freak outs.
I think I feel sappy today because it's been 3 months since my car accident and its finally getting easier to talk about when I need to. So much could have gone on with that accident and it didn't. I was bitter for the longest time, lost confidence and stopped trusting people. But I'm starting to wonder why that's what I jumped to. Instead I should have been seeing the good side. Yes, I lost my best friend (Molly car), but my friends are alive, another amazing friend rushed to the scene to take care of us and some strangers were there to help as well. My parents rushed to come to my aid with my dog (that had to be the LONGEST car trip ever) and then when I got home, my boyfriend brought me beer and chocolate and stayed the night just to make sure I was okay. The next day Jackie came over with coffee and food. And every one made sure that I knew that if I needed anything while my mom was at work that all I had to do was ask. There are so many people who love and adore me, and that is more evident now than ever before. Then of course Tom jumped into action and helped find me a new car. With the approval from Justin (mechanic), I found my new girl Miss Allie M. I couldn't be more grateful to Tom for driving around with me like a crazy person from one car to the next until I knew I found "my car".
I know, I wanted to yell, I wanted to scream. And most of all, I wanted to play the pity game, but honestly, where would that have gotten me? I was injured. I was hurt. And I lost my Molly girl.
My car was more than a car to me. I know that sounds silly, but it is true. She was my best friend. She knew all of my problems, had heard me scream many times and went on all of my adventures. She was my baby girl, my best friend. She was the biggest brat I knew and had the biggest personality I had ever known. I had gotten her when I was about 14 because she was my grandma's car and my grandma had passed away. There were so many connections to my Molly girl that it really hurt to see her go.... especially because I knew it was the last time I would see her and she was being taken away from me. :'(
I wanted to just scream at the lady who caused the accident. I wanted to so bad. She had taken so much from me and I didn't even know it yet.





My psychologist is guessing that I blacked out during the accident since I don't remember anything other than waking up and hearing screams. He says it could have been the odor from the air bags that woke me up.
Either way... I could have been so much worse, as could have my friends. But Molly was a tank and God was for sure watching over us that day.


I guess this is the time where I finally came to accept that. As angry as I still am, there so much to be thankful for.