I understand more...

I feel like since my first meeting with my psychologist since my accident, knowing exactly how I am feeling, plus having to admit it to myself has already helped a little.
Admitting that I've lost trust in people plus confidence in myself has really opened my eyes. I'm starting to realize when I'm being irrational and who really is there to help and just be there for me with no other motive.
Like Gabe, my wonderfully amazing boyfriend. I feel terrible. He's taken the most blows (like in the last post from the third... oops) and still finds it in his heart to forgive me and kiss me goodnight. He changed his mind and said he'll go to my psychologist with me if I ever get a phone call. I honestly can't express how grateful I am to him and for him. I truly do love him with all of my heart and I really hope he knows that.
My dad has also been crazily supportive lately. He likes that I'm working in sales and he's been more supportive about my schooling as well. It's nice to have him backing my up again. I forgot how strong I feel when I know my dad is behind me.
I know Hannah, Manda and Jackie are all here to help me as well. It was nice talking to Hannah the other day about a lot of stuff I can't talk to a majority of people about. I miss my Manda but it makes me so happy and proud when I see everything on Facebook. She's happy and that is AMAZING and all I could ever want for her.
Jackie and I have having a lot of ups and downs lately so that sucks, but it happens.
I do miss having Mat and Zack in my life as my big brothers, but I am happier without them, to be honest. Less pressure to be someone who I am not or to please people who never give but always take.
I wish I was closer with my mom and my sister, but I've thought that most of my life. I'm different than them so its hard to connect or understand each other. I get it and I don't blame them. I just wish it didn't seem like there are regrets.
My doctors have all been patient with me as well, which is good.

As for school.... I'm finding it hard to continue. I am on week seven of my classes and am having a hard time pulling it together. I get stressed out easily and just feel unmotivated. I want my degree but my teachers right now suck and I haven't heard from any of my advisors which doesn't help.
Work is a learning process and has complications but its income which is what I need.

Things WILL get better.

I will get better.