I don't even know whats going on but I have having a really hard time today.
I had a good day but then it became night and now I'm nothing but tears. I feel terrible and that I bring everything on myself. My psychologist says I'm very much stuck in the "why me" stage of my thinking due to the traumatizing things that have happened to me for the past few years. I guess tonight it all became just so real.
I really do blame myself for so much. My "why me" isn't towards others, God or any higher being... it's towards myself. I constantly ask why I put myself in these situations, why I let so many negative things happen before I finally stand up for myself.
Tonight is the night before my dance performance, and I don't even get to see my boyfriend because I didn't check to see if the door was unlocked. I didn't check so then I don't get to see my boyfriend on the night that I feel like shit.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Awe Car... sending cyber hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI know how to you feel... going through all the stages... I go back and forth with them myself... it's never easy and it is not a straight path. Life has crooked roads, just make sure you are on one of them.
I am praying and sending out good thoughts that your dance performance will go really well :)
xox