Hey all,
so, I just need to come out and say it: I'm not doing so well, I'm really not okay. I had a check up to see how I was doing last week, and the doctor upped my dosage and expressed that she would like me on my depression/anxiety medications for at least a year and that really scares me. I don't know how I feel anymore, I don't know why I cry... and I don't understand why everything hurts. I feel so empty and like I just want to run away, but I'm stuck.
It seems that every glimpse of happiness that I barely see or that starts to bloom, I mess it up by being too scared or too busy. I feel like I can't catch a break or do anything right.
I'm really struggling and I'm really not okay at all.
I want to be.... but I'm not.
I broke down majorly today.... just started bawling and couldn't stop. I don't know why. Nothing really happened and not much is wrong, but I couldn't stop.
I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of just always feeling like I'm standing on the edge and that I'm even alking on egg shells around myself. This isn't fun and I'm already tired of it...
I just want it to stop.
Car keep asking for help, don't stop until you get some answers... After my David and I stopped being friends last year... so suddenly, I nearly fell apart over the next nine months. I cried all the time, I wasn't happy and I wasn't okay. I can see a light at the end now... life is not perfect as it never was but at least I see some good, you will too...
ReplyDelete