My life seems to be so full of negativity and it's starting to become really overwhelming. I respect that people have their opinions but that doesn't mean that I want to hear them. It doesn't help that beliefs are being trashed with the political stuff going on. It's all just so hateful and spiteful.
So, I should probably explain a little bit more:Things between my boyfriend and I have been a little rocky, and until last night I didn't understand so I felt really hurt when he didn't go with me to get my tattoo. I'm scared to death of needles, and it was an important thing for me but he wasn't there and that really sucked. I heard all day from my mom that for her that would be the breaking point. I kept hearing "if he wasn't there for you this early on in the relationship that fully reflects on how the rest of the relationship will be". Which I have never once believed because I know my boyfriend.. and I knew he had something to say and was just waiting for the right time (which happened to be last night).
With this though, I knew I needed someone to be there when I got my tattoo to hold my hand and make sure I don't pierce my own lip from biting it too hard. So I asked my friend to be there with me. Now this friend and I had a short thing until he got a girlfriend (which they are no longer together), and then I got my boyfriend. I still hang out with this friend, of course, and my boyfriend really doesn't care... well, I know he does but he knows that my friends are my friends and I'm hoping that he trusts me. So this friend still cares about me, but has told me many times that he can never see himself dating me. Which of course if fine, I'm with the guy that has held my adoration for years now, this is a chance I thought I would never get so why would I care about this friend? Answer is, I don't really but because my relationship makes me nervous, my mind is saying that I do care about this friend and that I'm forming feelings for him. Bleh. So not true.
Anyway, this friend, every time I hang out with him he has something negative to say about my boyfriend. This irritates me beyond belief. It's like how in the world does he have any right to make comments, let alone negative comments, about MY relationship?! My boyfriend adores me and has never treated me bad within the entire time I have known him. Yes, I know things have been rocky but that is because I didn't understand. Now that I do, I'm okay with how things are between my boyfriend and I. I swear, my friend just wants to screw this up for me and it hurts.
As you can see from the picture, my boyfriend and I are super cute and playful with each other. Does no one understand how much I adore this? He can get me to smile, and yeah, so what if he doesn't always take the time to be with me, what really matters is the time I do get with him. I am in this relationship. That's it. There is no way I'm going to not be in this with him until he ends it.
I'm so tired of the negativity. I honestly can't do it anymore. Here soon, my life will seriously be about my girls, dancing and my boyfriend. End of story. 'cause I really can't go through this anymore.
Car, you are so right, this is your life... you need to live it the way you want to. I can't believe how we have had the same thing happen, mine was many years in the making though:) It didn't happen for 33 years but SO worth it. Even if it didn't last... who knows what the future holds. I really enjoy reading your blog, I want to tell you one thing, when I first had the chance to be with my David, I was on cloud nine and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world... I was but I have come to know that David was even luckier to have me. He's the fool and it is his loss if he doesn't see that we were meant to be. I will always love him though, for the rest of my life:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouraging words all the time. I really appreciate it beyond belief. It is always wonderful knowing that I'm not alone in going through what I am going through. Thank you again, so much. Honestly.
Delete