I don't even know where to start....

Hey all,
oh jeez... I don't even know where to begin with this.
I guess.... from the beginning?
So, at age 12 (give or take), I was "diagnosed" with an emotional disorder called Hyper Sensitivity. Best way to describe it is how my doctors put it:

"A normal person's emotional levels run on a scale from 1 to 10, people with Hyper Sensitivity, well their emotional scale starts at about 100 and run off any possible scale to where we don't know the end"

Kinda cool, huh? No, that wasn't sarcastic.
Well, since I was "diagnosed" with that at a younger age, I've learned to live with it and overcome it for the most part.
You see, the reason why I was "diagnosed" was because I was missing a lot of school due to feeling sick, but the weird part was... I had no temperature. I had stomach aches, headaches, sore throat, sore muscles... EVERYTHING. But no temperature. I would miss weeks on end from school to where I had a nearly impossible time to keep up and catch up. Then that would stress me out and I would end up even worse off. I was in a never ending circle, and no one could figure out why or how to stop it.
So finally, my doctor had my mom take me to a psychologist and it was then that I found out about Hyper Sensitivity.
I would take all the negative things that were directed at me in such a way that it was tearing me apart. It would cause me to stress and feel very negative, then causing me to get sick. This could be anything from teachers being upset with me, fight with friends, bullies and arguments between family. Sometimes, the negativity didn't even have to be directed at me to make me feel like crap.
With the negativity causing me to sooner or later get sick, I would end up staying home from school. Well, then the school work would pile up since I had missed a day, or two... or four, so then I would feel stressed again, causing me to get sick... AGAIN!
Well, then I went to my awesome psychologist. He "diagnosed" me with Hyper Sensitivity. After more than a few sessions with him, I found out that my "disorder" was nothing to be ashamed of, and that I couldn't let it control me.
That is when I learned one of the best sayings:

"The world isn't going to change for me, I have to change the world I see".

Now, why do I put quotes around "diagnosed" and "disorder".
Well, that's simple.
You see, I don't think "diagnosed" is the right word. When people hear that word, it's usually a negative thing. Though my Hyper Sensitivity can effect me in negative ways, it doesn't always. I choose to see it as I was blessed with Hyper Sensitivity. It is in me to love all, trust all and help all. I am a happy person, loving person and care about people who I might not even know or ever meet. I am blessed to be able to feel such intense feelings towards others and myself. So, why would I put such a negative vibe towards such a positive attribute?
Then there's the word "disorder". Oh, how much I hate that word when it comes to my Hyper Sensitivity. By definition a disorder in medical terms is:

"a disruption of normal physical or mental functions; a disease or abnormal condition."

but am I not normal? Hmm, are any of us really normal?
Though I technically have an abnormal condition, I don't think it has taken a disruptive approach since I have learned what it is. I mean, yes, missing school was disruptive, but since about 6th or 7th grade when I found out about it, I haven't missed more school than the normal student. So, is my Hyper Sensitivity really that disruptive since I've acknowledged it? Meh, sometimes.
I'm not going to lie, there are still times when it gets the better of me and I do still get sick. But nothing like I used to now that I know why I'm sick and how to handle it.
Okay, so with all that aside, lets talk about what's been going on lately.
I haven't been feeling well the last few months.
At first I thought it was my Hyper Sensitivity, but even with giving it my all, I couldn't get on top of the gross feeling that I was having. So I continued on with life as if nothing was wrong.
Then it seemed to get worse. I started not wanting to do anything, see anyone or eat. I was perfectly content laying in bed, sleeping and doing nothing for days. So, I thought that maybe I was experiencing a depressive state. So, I started going out and doing things that made me happy. Those would help, but weren't a cure... then things got worse.
The past few months I've had random spurts of stomach pain. Not just any pain though, it will come on suddenly, and though I have no idea what it feels like to be stabbed with a butcher knife, I'm going to say it felt like that. It hurt and would cause me to keel over in pain. Nothing would help. I tried hot baths, Epsom salt baths,  drinking more water, Tylenol and even mydol (to rule out girly problems). Nothing, the pain would just lessen as days went by of me doing nothing but laying in bed.
Then, imagine, things got even worse.
You know that feeling where it feels like you're so on edge that it feels every possible thing will make you start to cry. Yeah, that's where I am.
I haven't felt okay in weeks and its gotten to the point where the smallest complication just makes me start crying. That's when I figured out what's been going on, or at least my best guess...

anxiety.

I knew I had anxiety, but nothing as extreme as what I've been feeling currently.
So, I try to do things for myself, like get my nails done and go dancing to help, and it does temporarily.
I thought I could handle it, but then today it got even worse. How?

Right?!

I didn't think it could either.
Well, I had plans this evening since work had told me that I didn't have to go in. I started getting ready to go out and enjoy myself. Then I got a call... it was my work and my boss decided that I did need to come in. Well, that's the fourth time this has happened when I've tried to go do something that is going to help me feel better. So, of course, I start crying... then the stomach pain starts, then a new symptom... I started vomiting. Sorry, graphic, I know... but I don't know any other words to make it less disgusting.
Guess I really do have too much on my plate for once... I'm constantly stressed, tired and on the go. I feel guilty for taking a day or two to relax because I know that there are things that need to be done.
Now that I've put my body, mind and soul/heart through all this, I finally swallowed my fear and scheduled a doctors appointment for next Wednesday.
I'm scared because I don't know what is going to happen or what is going to be said. I'm scared because if I get put on medication, there's going to be that long battle of figuring out which one I'm not allergic to.
I know I have written many papers on anxiety, I've studied it enough it school to where I could probably write my own reference book. But that almost makes it worse. I know the different outcome options and treatments, I know that this could be temporary, or life long. And that scares me.
I try so hard to keep myself going, keep others going, and to not let anyone down or have a reason to be disappointed in me... but now I've come to a road block and I'm not sure I currently have the strength to get over it. I know I will, but right now it just looks daunting.
I'm going to my doctors appointment at 2:30 on Wednesday. I need to figure this out and get on top of this. Because just like my Hyper Sensitivity... I can't let this control me.
Past that, I don't even know what to say other than... please, send positive thoughts, and love my way. I really could use them right now.