It'll happen

So, I haven't posted because there's been nothing to write but there's been way too much going on.
Let's start with the non-related parts of this:
I finally moved away from Eugene and have moved back to Medford. Though I dislike this town with a passion, I feel it is right where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. I ran away from a lot of problems when I left here about two years ago, and those problems have been following me since. It's time that I face them and fix them.
I had to quit all my jobs, pack and move. I moved back in with my mom till it's time for us to part ways again. It's been stressful, but I don't want to fight with anyone anymore. I've expressed that I haven't felt supported by anyone since I left this town and feel it even less now than I ever have. I know hearing that hurt her, but it's about time I finally speak my truth rather than staying quiet to protect others, which in turn just hurts me.
I've also expressed that I feel the need to either go see a psychologist or get heavy duty back into dance. In one way or another, I know I need therapy. This is becoming more evident as the days pass because I know that I'm not okay, emotionally or mentally. But I don't want to bother anyone else with my problems, nor do I think I can actually bring myself to talk about some of my "issues".
With all of that, it hasn't helped that I'm struggling to find a new job, which is also causing me to struggle with money. Everyone around (adults in my life... meaning my parents and their significant others) have been "picking on me" about not being independent and having to pay for stuff (like food and my dad still helps me out with my rent)... I'm really starting to tear myself apart due to this "teasing" because I was on my own for two years, give or take, and I feel like a failure for having to be back to having my parents help support me. Sad thing is, I've felt this since before I moved back because I knew it was going to be like this, and yet, no one knows that I feel like this. I know one of these times, someone will "tease" me and I'll finally just snap... and it isn't going to be pretty.
I'm excited to start dancing again though, I've been back to the ballroom twice and oh goodness how I've missed dancing. Though I can tell my endurance, strength and patience within myself has gone down greatly. But dance season starts soon and I'm hoping to be able to take tap, hiphop and hopefully either jazz or ballet. But I'll know more about that as fall approaches.
As for my friends, I'm sure they are fine. I am so used to them being crazy to see me, that when I got here and no one jumped the gun to come see me. I've been home for a month and a few days and I've only seen about eight friends, most of which were for short periods of time due to me stopping and bugging them at work. This kind of ties into the fact that I feel like I have little to no support because not even my friends seem to want to stop in and make sure that I'm okay, or even just hang out.
Now for the school part:
I haven't been in school for months due to Phoenix being stupid and not figuring out my paperwork. I finally have it all turned in to my knowledge, I got a call saying that I should be starting classes again here soon. But then a few days after that call I got another call from my financial adviser saying that my paperwork wasn't turned in. I'm getting SO BEYOND discouraged that I'm close to quitting again. I know I can't, but I'm so on the verdge of it that it's not even funny.

So, hopefully all of it will figure itself out. It has to. It'll happen... I hope.