I'm not going to lie, it has been an interesting/difficult last two days.
Yesterday I got an email from my boss saying that a few parents and a few of my students were doubting my ability to do my job. Worst part of this was the fact that I got the email just a few hours before I had to go to work! I somehow had to put a smile on my face and act as if nothing was wrong. How annoying and unfair. I have been dancing for 18 years, and someone wants to doubt my ability?! Rude!
Then today, I also had work and my boss stayed and watched which I wasn't expecting but oh well. It was a little intimidating but at least I had a plan of what we were doing that day. Her only complaint was that I don't tuck in my thumbs, what an easy fix. I'm still annoyed that the parents were talking like that, and even more so, they were talking like that in front of a few of my students.
To top that off, and the real thing about this posting is... I got a call from my dad today. My grandmother might have breast cancer. She goes in for surgery on Monday to find out for sure. They say that if it is, since they caught it early, they should be able to get rid of all of it. I'm scared. My grandmother is the only grandparent I have left alive, and I'm not ready to say goodbye. I know that is selfish on my part, but it is true. So good thoughts and prayers would be more than welcomed. Send them towards my Grandmother, I need her to have them more than me.
Thanks you guys. You all are truly amazing.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
So here's the plan
Due to different things going on, I will still be posting on this blog about everything, but I am also starting a new blog about relationship stuff. It will talk about my relationship and I'll be giving advice to others. So if you wanna keep up on it, then I encourage you to subscribe to it or something.
No worries though, I will still be talking on here every week too. I am trying to post every Wednesday. So this blog wont change, I'll just have another one on my list (making my list four, goodness) and it will be more in depth about relationship stuffs.
Hope you stick with me here!
Have a great day.
(HERE'S THE LINK TO THE NEW BLOG:
http://greatapartandwonderfultogether.blogspot.com/
and here's the links to my others, just in case anyone is interested:
http://outfortheworld.blogspot.com/ This one is more about just random thoughts, songs and poems that I wrote.
http://changeofeveryday.blogspot.com/ This one is my 365. I will be starting my second round of it on Valentine's day of this year.)
No worries though, I will still be talking on here every week too. I am trying to post every Wednesday. So this blog wont change, I'll just have another one on my list (making my list four, goodness) and it will be more in depth about relationship stuffs.
Hope you stick with me here!
Have a great day.
(HERE'S THE LINK TO THE NEW BLOG:
http://greatapartandwonderfultogether.blogspot.com/
and here's the links to my others, just in case anyone is interested:
http://outfortheworld.blogspot.com/ This one is more about just random thoughts, songs and poems that I wrote.
http://changeofeveryday.blogspot.com/ This one is my 365. I will be starting my second round of it on Valentine's day of this year.)
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
On a brighter note: I will just simply say that I am not mature enough to be in college, let alone be a psychology minor.
I am not mature enough to be in college. The teacher asked what is a
biological factor into sexual behavior in humans, I blushed. Then one of
the people said "puberty" and I giggled. I'm not mature enough for this
at all.
I know this is a simple post, but it is true. I couldn't stand it. I kept seeing the word "puberty" and just kepts tee-hee-ing. Ooooooooooooh dear, I'm in for it.
I know this is a simple post, but it is true. I couldn't stand it. I kept seeing the word "puberty" and just kepts tee-hee-ing. Ooooooooooooh dear, I'm in for it.
If I'm going to cut the ties, might as well sever the rope.
I don't even know what's happening anymore. I feel like my entire world is breaking, and there's nothing I can do about it because people expect me to just sit, watch and be there for them when it fails like I said it would from the beginning.
I've lost so many friends this year and I am just tired of all of this. I'm tired of the toxic things that are in my life. Its no wonder why I keep getting sick instead of better. How is anyone supposed to get better when they have all this stuff hanging over their head with no escape?
Now, even worse, its in my house.
I can't escape it and it is seriously giving me anxiety attacks and I feel angry and tense all the time. I can't live like this. NO ONE can live like this. I need to move. I need to be out on my own again. Life was difficult, yes, but it was better. I wasn't this stressed or this sick. I was better. I was able to be myself and not worry about everyone else.
I've cut my ties, and I never want them back so I might as well sever the rope as well. I'm done with all the people who have made me feel like this. I have lost respect for them all and have realized that they don't care about me as much as I thought they did. It sucks, yes, but I can't do this anymore.
I've lost so many friends this year and I am just tired of all of this. I'm tired of the toxic things that are in my life. Its no wonder why I keep getting sick instead of better. How is anyone supposed to get better when they have all this stuff hanging over their head with no escape?
Now, even worse, its in my house.
I can't escape it and it is seriously giving me anxiety attacks and I feel angry and tense all the time. I can't live like this. NO ONE can live like this. I need to move. I need to be out on my own again. Life was difficult, yes, but it was better. I wasn't this stressed or this sick. I was better. I was able to be myself and not worry about everyone else.
I've cut my ties, and I never want them back so I might as well sever the rope as well. I'm done with all the people who have made me feel like this. I have lost respect for them all and have realized that they don't care about me as much as I thought they did. It sucks, yes, but I can't do this anymore.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Nothing really to say
I really don't have much to say today, but I know I don't want to forget today. Today has been the first day where I feel like this is what I expected from my relationship. Today is the first day where I feel like Gabe was just naturally my boyfriend and it was amazing.
He didn't tell me he was coming over tonight, but he just tapped on my window a few hours ago. Scared the bee-gee-bus out of me, too. I jumped so bad since I wasn't expecting him and wasn't listening for his car. But he just stopped by because he could, and he wanted to. He surprised me.
We just hung out and talked. Definitely made my day just that much better.
He didn't tell me he was coming over tonight, but he just tapped on my window a few hours ago. Scared the bee-gee-bus out of me, too. I jumped so bad since I wasn't expecting him and wasn't listening for his car. But he just stopped by because he could, and he wanted to. He surprised me.
We just hung out and talked. Definitely made my day just that much better.
Monday, January 14, 2013
How do I explain it...
Hey everyone, hope everyone's weekend was fabulous and that everyone's Monday was... well, as good as could be expected from a Monday.
As for my weekend, it was surprisingly good. Gabe stayed the night on Saturday and it was nice. We were able to talk a lot after we had a Doctor Who mini marathon. Gabe and I were joking around because there are a lot of pretty girls on the show so I made comment of how he would so easily leave me for a few of them. He made a point to say that at least they are the ONLY girls he would leave me for. So chances are that he wont leave me. After that, he said that he has never been with a girl as long as he's been with me consistently. His other relationships were very on and off, where as ours has now been lasting almost five months. It was cute. He made me smile. It was good.
Now for my Monday, I had work. I really adore my girls though. My younger girls were adorable. We worked on spotting and we really need to work some more. Then when I got my older girls, I really felt accomplished. I let them leap over me to work on their leaps. I'm so proud of them. A lot of them got a lot more air and kept their legs straight. The leaps were gorgeous. One of my girls, who is very nervous and is lacking confident, was simply beaming and HAD to show her mom. It made me smile.
I'm nervous to start choreographing for the show. I have a lot of work ahead of me and I don't know if I can keep up with all of it, but I'm going to try my hardest. I think I'll need help and a lot of support, so hopefully I will have that.
As for my health, I am doing a bit better. I am trying to fix my numbers with my anemia by taking iron supplements and eating a bit more meat. I am trying to drink less soda as well. It is really difficult because of the fact that I don't eat much in general. I have to go back to the doctor next month, get my blood drawn again and hopefully my numbers will be more normal. Can only hope.
Well, I need to work on school work. Bah. The life of a 21 year old. Aren't I supposed to be out drinking and partying? Eh, oh well, I wouldn't trade my life for anything at this point.
As for my weekend, it was surprisingly good. Gabe stayed the night on Saturday and it was nice. We were able to talk a lot after we had a Doctor Who mini marathon. Gabe and I were joking around because there are a lot of pretty girls on the show so I made comment of how he would so easily leave me for a few of them. He made a point to say that at least they are the ONLY girls he would leave me for. So chances are that he wont leave me. After that, he said that he has never been with a girl as long as he's been with me consistently. His other relationships were very on and off, where as ours has now been lasting almost five months. It was cute. He made me smile. It was good.
Now for my Monday, I had work. I really adore my girls though. My younger girls were adorable. We worked on spotting and we really need to work some more. Then when I got my older girls, I really felt accomplished. I let them leap over me to work on their leaps. I'm so proud of them. A lot of them got a lot more air and kept their legs straight. The leaps were gorgeous. One of my girls, who is very nervous and is lacking confident, was simply beaming and HAD to show her mom. It made me smile.
I'm nervous to start choreographing for the show. I have a lot of work ahead of me and I don't know if I can keep up with all of it, but I'm going to try my hardest. I think I'll need help and a lot of support, so hopefully I will have that.
As for my health, I am doing a bit better. I am trying to fix my numbers with my anemia by taking iron supplements and eating a bit more meat. I am trying to drink less soda as well. It is really difficult because of the fact that I don't eat much in general. I have to go back to the doctor next month, get my blood drawn again and hopefully my numbers will be more normal. Can only hope.
Well, I need to work on school work. Bah. The life of a 21 year old. Aren't I supposed to be out drinking and partying? Eh, oh well, I wouldn't trade my life for anything at this point.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Up up and away
So as I have been posting rather frequently, I have been having major health issues. Well, last Friday, I finally went and got my blood tested. I got my results today and they are saying that there is inflammation in my body, but it isn't anything serious. Which I am very thankful for.
With all this happening, my boyfriend has been very worried and has been consistently asking if there is anything I need from him. It's super cute.
Anyway this post is actually about what I made this blog about: work and school/life.
This was my first week at my first job, and with being sick, it wasn't going too well for me. I was sitting and watching a lot which isn't very fun when you're a ballet instructor. But today, the owner of the studio, left! AH! I had nothing planned for class! But I pulled it off and I already love my girls. I am so thankful to have this job. I think it is what I needed to finally get myself back into the dance world. Because I am teaching these girls what it takes to be a dancer, which are the exact things that were squished in me due to my very harsh instructors at UNLV. Building it in these girls is reminding me of how important they are and in turn it is rebuilding it in myself. It's wonderful. I can't imagine getting paid for this, but I am.
As for school, this is my first week back after a winter break, and I'm not going to lie, I have been slacking. I think its due to the fact that I have been ill so I haven't really wanted to do much other than sleep, which I have done a lot of. But it was nice to have the two weeks off. And from what I have seen today (because I was a good student and did all my work today) this week will be fairly easy and mostly based on opinions. I am so thankful to be back in school, plus have a job that I enjoy. It is really starting to make feel better about everything that I went through. I feel like all my struggles were finally worth something.
2013 is my year. I am determined to make that true.
With all this happening, my boyfriend has been very worried and has been consistently asking if there is anything I need from him. It's super cute.
Anyway this post is actually about what I made this blog about: work and school/life.
This was my first week at my first job, and with being sick, it wasn't going too well for me. I was sitting and watching a lot which isn't very fun when you're a ballet instructor. But today, the owner of the studio, left! AH! I had nothing planned for class! But I pulled it off and I already love my girls. I am so thankful to have this job. I think it is what I needed to finally get myself back into the dance world. Because I am teaching these girls what it takes to be a dancer, which are the exact things that were squished in me due to my very harsh instructors at UNLV. Building it in these girls is reminding me of how important they are and in turn it is rebuilding it in myself. It's wonderful. I can't imagine getting paid for this, but I am.
As for school, this is my first week back after a winter break, and I'm not going to lie, I have been slacking. I think its due to the fact that I have been ill so I haven't really wanted to do much other than sleep, which I have done a lot of. But it was nice to have the two weeks off. And from what I have seen today (because I was a good student and did all my work today) this week will be fairly easy and mostly based on opinions. I am so thankful to be back in school, plus have a job that I enjoy. It is really starting to make feel better about everything that I went through. I feel like all my struggles were finally worth something.
2013 is my year. I am determined to make that true.
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