Confidence is key

Hey all,
so I am doing a little better from my last post.
I have resorted to reading when I'm upset, and it has really helped. I like being able to disappear into my books.
I've been talking a lot to my psychologist through my school online, I'm doing this until I have the time to go to my actually psychologist, and she is really helping. She reminded me that the accident wasn't my fault and that everyone is okay and that everything will be okay. It's been nice hearing that and having her remind me of how loved I really am.
My boyfriend has also really been helping. He's been great at listening and being patient. He came over last night and just hung out. He was joking around and making me laugh because he knew that I have been really stressed lately.
I'm trying to just remain being who I am. Letting myself be exactly who I am rather than trying to act tough and okay, because I really haven't been. I've been needing to cry and to just have someone to talk to, but I wasn't admitting this because I felt like I needed to act like I was okay.
Another thing that helped is I did get to go ballroom a few weeks ago. I am excited to go this week too. I miss my dancing and especially my dance family.
As alone as I have felt, I'm starting to see everyone who is here to help me and be there for me. I don't know if it is just that I'm not quite ready, that I didn't see them or that it isn't exactly what I needed or wanted. But sometimes I don't know what it is that I need or want.
I'll figure it out.
Confidence is key.


After my last post I got so many messages that touched my heart. Thank you, all of you. You all help me more than what you even know.


Also, I'd like to mention that my prayers are with everyone affected by (family, and people who were there) the Boston Marathon tragedy that happened today. and R.I.P to those who passed due to the tragedy.

Also, my prayers to the 3 students who were shot today in Louisiana.

So much going on in the world, really makes me appreciate  what I have and reminds me to live everyday to its fullest because I don't know what's going to happen later.
Be safe.

Where I've been

Hey all,
sorry I haven't been posting.
I wish I could happily explain that I've been okay and that I have been out having the time of my life and that is why I fell of the face of Blogger. Sadly, this isn't the case.
I've lost myself, and with that I haven't known what to write. I feel like I'm stuck with no where to go.
Something I promised myself with moving back to my hometown was that I wouldn't forget. Forget the life experiences I had, forget how much I had grown, and the biggest was forget how to be confident.
Right now, I don't know who I am or where I am in my life. I want to be moving forward but I feel like there is a giant wall preventing that from happening. I feel like this wall is me not really knowing what I want anymore.
I miss having my friends who I could talk to about all of this. I miss my big brothers or my sisters... all of which were just my friends I claimed as family. I miss being able to talk to them and figure things out. I miss knowing that it was safe to talk about everything...
I miss feeling safe.

So, with this, I am finally cracking and going to talk to my psychologist about everything from the crash. Maybe getting that off my shoulders will help. Hopefully stop the nightmares at least.

I'm going to try to be posting every week. I miss you guys and your comments and messages. They really do help me feel like I'm not totally alone. I just wish I could talk to some of you in person... how cool and uplifting would that be?!